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[Impractical Seriousness]
Impractical Seriousness
Waking Rupert
One morning I was at my friend Terry's home & we decided to give our
mutual friend Rupert Wondolowski a wake-up call. Maybe Terry wanted to
talk to him but was too timid to awaken him so early. Whatever the case
may've been, I decided to help her by turning the whole
situation into
a prank that would make calling him irrestibly fun enough for her to
make it so that she would call him regardless of whether he was asleep.
Explaining to her that I was going to write a
text that both of us were
to read to him over the phone in unison, I ripped apart a paper bag
& scrawled 2 copies of the following text:
Good morning Mr. Wondolowski, This is bio-computer DK492 - Series 12
(affectionately known as "Squeaky Fromme") calling from the
5th floor of the Hyatt Cybernetics Crackerjack Lab. We, the double
sexless trio, wish to make you a once in a lifetime sniggle which will
only cost only cost only cost only cost only cost sniggle-lee
digeree-doo-doo-doo only cost only cost only cost bag bread
thorough-bred fit snot Wondolowski. We'll get your asterisk if it costs
only cost only cost 100% of what went down over there you should know
better than to butter your thorough-bred on both sides of the burning
candle which we know AHA! Yes, you thought we didn't know didn't
whatever refrigerator lotto triceratops but, yes! you're the
schmeatest! - for further information dial (301) 747-3456 & ask for
Billy "I Believe in Coincidences" Alonso - your long lost
twin brother only cost only cost only cost only cost only cost
biocomputer for every House of Wigs, toupees, pube-lice circuses,
twig-snot, thank you for
your cooperation, this is the rape crisis center signing off.
You can probably imagine Rupert's befuddlement when Terry & I hung
up on him after our reading.
Impractical Seriousness: Table of Contents