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Impractical Seriousness

Waking Rupert

One morning I was at my friend Terry's home & we decided to give our mutual friend Rupert Wondolowski a wake-up call. Maybe Terry wanted to talk to him but was too timid to awaken him so early. Whatever the case may've been, I decided to help her by turning the whole situation into a prank that would make calling him irrestibly fun enough for her to make it so that she would call him regardless of whether he was asleep. Explaining to her that I was going to write a text that both of us were to read to him over the phone in unison, I ripped apart a paper bag & scrawled 2 copies of the following text:
Good morning Mr. Wondolowski, This is bio-computer DK492 - Series 12 (affectionately known as "Squeaky Fromme") calling from the 5th floor of the Hyatt Cybernetics Crackerjack Lab. We, the double sexless trio, wish to make you a once in a lifetime sniggle which will only cost only cost only cost only cost only cost sniggle-lee digeree-doo-doo-doo only cost only cost only cost bag bread thorough-bred fit snot Wondolowski. We'll get your asterisk if it costs only cost only cost 100% of what went down over there you should know better than to butter your thorough-bred on both sides of the burning candle which we know AHA! Yes, you thought we didn't know didn't whatever refrigerator lotto triceratops but, yes! you're the schmeatest! - for further information dial (301) 747-3456 & ask for Billy "I Believe in Coincidences" Alonso - your long lost twin brother only cost only cost only cost only cost only cost biocomputer for every House of Wigs, toupees, pube-lice circuses, twig-snot, thank you for your cooperation, this is the rape crisis center signing off.
You can probably imagine Rupert's befuddlement when Terry & I hung up on him after our reading.
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